How to set boundaries in Christian dating can be very tacky, considering that both parties are really in love and they want to show their emotions.
Nevertheless, this is very important to know as a believer that God’s rules are our standards for living a glorious marital destiny.
You should be able to tell your partner, “You can come this far, but you cannot go any further.
Looking closer, we realize that there are limits everywhere.
God created the world by setting boundaries around it.
Come along with me as I share five ways to set boundaries in your relationship.
Be Free To Stay On Your Own Emotionally
Staying on your own is when you express and maintain your individuality. You are not looking for a man to complete you.
You have your thoughts, beliefs, and interests; you don’t need to give up your personal goals because of the relationship.
Communicate openly and be honest; at this stage, do not engage in activities like prayer, talking, or fellowship together until your relationship has matured to the courtship stage.
Do not rush things or overwhelm your feelings; get to know your partner more and let the relationship develop naturally.
Have sound support systems, spend time with your friends and family, and remain closer to God; it will make you grounded in yourself.
Practice self-care, nourish your physical, mental, and emotional health well, and practice activities that bring you joy and help you relax.
Do Not Talk About The Future
Ladies, when your relationship is just two-three months old, please do not discuss the future of how many kids you would like to have or suggest a name for babies.
Do not suggest how you plan a vacation when you are five years in marriage when he’s not fully committed to you yet.
It will show that you are moving too fast, and he may not be ready for a long-term commitment.
You must be sure you are both on the same page, so set boundaries and familiarize yourself with him.
Talking about the future can also bring about unrealistic expectations, which may not be achievable due to too many high expectations.
It can also lead to anxiety and stress; the man may think that he will not be able to meet your expectations, so give him time.
Lastly, what experience have you gotten so far in your short time with him?
Is the experience so impactful that you are confident it is time to go into the next stage?
Ensure your experience with him increases as you spend time together; if not, you can back off immediately and not suffer any heartbreak.
Boundaries About Your Expectations
Christian dating offers a lot of enjoyable experiences. It should be enjoyable.
Dating is also fun because of the hope it frequently inspires.
A happy anticipation of something positive is called hope.
In addition to having a healthy amount of optimism that a dating relationship will lead to marriage, we should place our ultimate faith in Jesus Christ.
Why would you stay in a relationship if there is no hope?
According to the Bible in Proverbs 13:12, if the tension in your relationship is not targeted towards this aim, then why be in a relationship?
Any breakup will be painful because all romantic relationships are built on hope.
When hope is delayed, the heart becomes ill. If hope is postponed, it will hurt the heart more deeply.
Breaking up after a week of dating won’t hurt as much as during the engagement stage.
So set your boundaries on your expectations from the man; do not set unrealistic expectations that your partner cannot fulfill.
Remember, we are all humans.
Unrealistic expectations will lead to disappointment, pressure, and frustration; the man may feel he cannot be himself or pursue his goals.
Tell God to help you have a healthy relationship.
Please write down your expectations for each season, and be logical about it with your emotions.
Not that you should give up on hope or not have any aspirations at all. Dating must include vulnerability.
The entire encounter will be doomed if you are closed off and empty of hope. All that is required of you is wisdom.
Ensuring your levels of hope are suitable for the season your Christian dating relationship is in; will help you guard your heart.
Boundaries About Your Sexual Feelings
In a godly relationship, setting sexual boundaries is vital to maintaining purity and honoring God.
Failing to set sexual boundaries can lead to various negative consequences, which include
Temptation
When sexual boundaries are not established, you can easily fall into temptation and engage in sexual activities.
Which is outside of God’s plan for your relationship, it will also lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and regret.
Lack of respect
Setting boundaries can communicate your values and expectations to your partner.
When boundaries are not respected, it can lead to feelings of disrespect and a breakdown in trust in the relationship.
Damage to the relationship
Engaging in sexual activities that go against God’s plan for the relationship can damage and make it harder to build a foundation of trust and respect.
Spiritual consequences
Going against God’s plan for sexual purity can have spiritual consequences.
Including a sense of distance from God, feelings of guilt and shame, and a weakened relationship with Him.
Setting sexual boundaries in a godly relationship is crucial to maintaining purity, honoring God, and building trust and respect.
Failing to set boundaries can lead to negative consequences that can damage the relationship and one’s spiritual well-being.
Remember, all sexual experiences must be reserved for marriage only.
Boundaries For Your Word And Promises
As we have many boundaries to set in our Christian dating, we must consider this factor that talks about our word and promises.
When believers flee sexual sin, another way evil comes in is through word of mouth.
It will even be more intense but learn to balance what you say and your connectivity in the spirit. Guard the words that come out of your mouth.
For instance, saying I love you is extremely dangerous, especially if the relationship lasts two–three months.
Another word is I miss you; ladies, do not say these words at the beginning of your relationship; not every man feels the same way.
Do not disrespect your partner by using verbal language when talking with him.
Do not keep promises you cannot fulfill; it will cause a breakdown of trust between you.
When you make a promise to your partner, you are essentially saying that you value their needs and desires.
If you fail to keep your word, you disrespect their feelings and show that you don’t value their input or opinions.
Should Christians Kiss While Dating?
When I get this kind of question, I usually answer with another question: Can a married man kiss someone he’s not married to?
If the answer is No, then so is kissing because kissing is a form of sexual immorality.
If you, as a true believer, understand the act of sex, then you will not need to ask this question.
Because kissing is also part of sex, you do not have control over it.
God tells us to flee sexual loss, 1 Corinthians 6:18, we are not wired to handle it, and we cannot turn on the gas and say we are not cooking anything.
Proverbs 6:27, Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? No way.
As a believer do not look for something you will do and feel that you can get away with it, like telling your partner how far can we go?
I can tell you that you have missed the whole point of the relationship.
Celibacy and sexual purity do not start with the act; they begin in the mind.
God wants your mind to be clean at all times, so do not bring up the act of kissing.
For you to even ask about kissing means you are already thinking about it and desisting from that act.
The Bible says if you lust after someone you are not married to, you have already committed adultery, Matthew 5:28.
So God wants your mind to be clean always. Save kissing and other acts until you are married.
If you struggle with lust and sexual acts, please pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
Only be in a relationship once you are entirely free.
Pray and study more the word of God. Be busy doing the work of God, and you shall see your life transform.
Disadvantages Of Kissing Before Marriage
I will answer this question by taking you to this scripture in the Bible.
Songs of Solomon 8:4 Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.
So this is my first answer.
Kissing Arouses Love Before It Time
At what stage are you in your current relationship?
Be honest with yourself; those French kisses or whatever type of kissing you engage in while dating could end up wrong.
So guide yourself, do not arouse love when it is not yet time.
Potential For Heartbreak
Kissing can create a false sense of intimacy, making it harder to recognize compatibility.
This false intimacy can lead to heartbreak if the relationship does not work out in the long run.
Emotional Attachment
Kissing can create an emotional bond between you and your partner, which may lead to an unhealthy level of attachment or dependency.
This attachment may also make it harder for you both to break up if your relationship is not meant to last.
Temptation To Engage In Further Physical Intimacy
Kissing can often lead to more physical intimacy, which can be challenging to resist, especially if you, as a lady, are trying to wait until marriage.
This temptation can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or regret.
Going Against Religious Beliefs
As a believer, you must know that kissing before marriage goes against religious values and the teachings of your faith.
Engaging in any physical intimacy before marriage is considered a sin.
Difficulty In Keeping Boundaries
If you decide to kiss before marriage, it can be challenging to maintain healthy boundaries in your physical relationship.
It can also lead to further physical intimacy, which may go against religious beliefs and moral values.
Social Pressure
There may be social pressure to conform to specific standards of behavior or morality.
Kissing before marriage may be frowned upon or judged by others, creating social tension or conflict.
Conclusion
In conclusion, setting boundaries in Christian dating is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Establishing these boundaries from the beginning is vital to avoid compromising one’s values and beliefs.
Christians are called to honor God in all areas of our lives, including our relationships.
One of the most debated boundaries in Christian dating is whether or not to kiss while dating.
While some believe it is acceptable, others argue it is best to refrain from kissing until marriage.
Ultimately, this decision should be made based on personal conviction and in consultation with trusted mentors or pastors.
However, it is crucial to note that kissing before marriage can have disadvantages.
It can create a false sense of intimacy and make maintaining boundaries in other areas challenging.
It can also lead to temptation and compromise, damaging the relationship and hindering spiritual growth.
Moreover, Christian dating should not solely focus on physical intimacy but on building a solid foundation for a Christ-centered marriage.
It is essential to prioritize emotional and spiritual connection, honesty, and communication, which can ultimately lead to a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
In setting boundaries in Christian dating, it is essential to remember that it is not just about avoiding sin.
But it’s about honoring God and building relationships that reflect His love and character.
It may be challenging, but it is worth it in the end.
To end with, setting boundaries in Christian dating and making wise decisions about physical intimacy is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
It requires prayer, discernment, and the support of trusted mentors and friends.
As Christians, let us strive to honor God in our relationships and build a foundation that reflects His love and character.
Thank you for reading, hope the post has been impactful.
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