How to set boundaries with the opposite sex is our topic today.
Philippians 4:5 says, Let your moderation be known to all men; the Lord is at hand.
Humans are relational beings. We are not created to be in isolation but to relate positively with one another.
God created males and females to co-exist; Genesis 5:2 says God created males and females in the garden of Eden.
Whether you like it or not, you must relate to people of the opposite sex, whether at work, in business places, in your neighborhood, in social groups, or even in religious communities.
Interestingly, there is no separate world for men and women.
So you must learn to relate successfully with the opposite sex by setting the proper boundaries.
And this subject affects both married and single people. God wants you to have friends; it is not a sin to be friends with someone of the opposite sex.
The Bible records that women were among Jesus’ followers during His earthly ministry; for instance, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna all accompanied Jesus during His earthly ministry.
Being kind and friendly is Christ-like, but every friendship has acceptable limits.
And you must understand this. James 4:4 says, Whoever, therefore, will be a friend of the war is the enemy of God.
It is essential, therefore, to know how to relate with everyone, especially those of the opposite sex.
Hear me, and hear me! Rules and boundaries must be set, just as in every other relationship
What Are Boundaries, You May Ask?
There are limits, do’s, and don’ts.
Setting Boundaries that represent who you are and what you want is essential.
A relationship can only be held together with clear boundaries set and respected.
Recently, I watched a video of a couple that has been married for over 77 years.
And they were interviewed and asked, What are the secrets for their marital bliss?
Interestingly, they said setting and respecting each other’s boundaries is one of their secrets to a successful marriage.
Therefore, you must define the no-go areas. Keep yourself pure.
And interestingly, you must understand that setting boundaries must answer these four questions.
The question of Where, What, When, and How.
In other words, where are you expected to be found?
What are you expected to be found doing?
How are you expected to be found doing it?
And at what time?
It must answer these four questions very clearly.
Boundaries define a relationship and create respect for the parties involved. Boundaries are about taking personal responsibility for your own life.
And remember, no one else can take responsibility for your own life on your behalf.
Therefore, you must be able to set boundaries firmly, put them clearly, set them respectfully, and ensure that you communicate the same to the people involved in your life.
Be courageous enough to let go of anyone who doesn’t want to respect your boundaries.
Dear listener, it’s essential.
Do not keep yourself in a position where the enemy will be able to take advantage of you.
To set clear boundaries, do the following.
Understand Male And Female Differences
Genesis 1:27 says male and female he created he them.
God created males and females to complement, not compete, with each other.
Certain things ordinarily would turn a mate on emotionally but may not necessarily apply to the female and vice versa.
For instance, women are usually attracted to what they hear, and men are more attracted to what they see.
Therefore, men, stop saying things you don’t mean to ladies.
Ladies, don’t send the wrong signal through your dress, carriage, or unnecessary closeness to the opposite sex.
Don’t set traps for the opposite sex, intentionally or unintentionally; this is very important.
It would be best if you take this very, very seriously.
Know The Importance Of Good Friendship
Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one.” Good friendship keeps us spiritually, mentally, and physically strong.
And so, you must note any friendship that deviates from that immediately.
Good friendships improve the quality of our lives. They also motivate you to be your best.
They serve as a mirror to your character. And they can be teachers to you and also help you.
Remember, in Luke 10: 39, we’re taught about Mary Lazarus’s sister, who was said to always learn at the feet of Jesus Christ.
There were also five women of God during the Apostle Paul’s ministry who ministered to the needs of the saints.
For example, Priscilla and Junia are two of these women.
So if you are in a relationship that doesn’t make your life better, you should think twice and take action accordingly.
You Must Define Your Relationship
Proverbs 27:9 NIV version of the Bible, says a righteous man is cautious in friendship; relationships are vital to your destiny.
Your association determines your destination.
May you end your journey in life well; relationships are powerful, and we get involved at different levels.
I’ve discovered three primary levels of relationships we all get involved in at one time.
When you have a relationship with a superior, those who are above you.
Second, you relate with your mate, those with the same level as you.
And thirdly, you live with those who are below you.
These three levels of relationship are very crucial.
And to relate, one simply needs to connect, contact, and interact, that is, to be involved.
But it would help if you learned to define whatever relationship you are involved in clearly.
And I’ve understood that a good relationship is free from the following; defects, decay, and damage.
Your comportment matters a lot. So decide how you must never be found and where you must never be found with the opposite sex.
Don’t be careless. Listen, your life is too precious. Flee all appearances of evil in your relationship with the opposite sex.
It is important to set good boundaries. We must set limits for others and ourselves.
Someone has said this, and I believe it’s very accurate. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Therefore, avoid unedifying places, dress how you want to be addressed, and go to dignified places.
Please only go to places where they behave appropriately.
Watch your words and your actions. Henry Ford said, and I quote, “You get what you tolerate.”
This is very critical, especially in the world that we live in today.
I read the story of this great man of God, Billy Graham.
In his lifetime, he had to decide that he would never be found sitting in the backseat of a car or the front seat of a vehicle with a female, except for his wife.
And he stayed true to that commitment all his life.
I decided a long time ago, that you will never find me sitting in the backseat of a car with someone of the opposite sex, that is not my spouse or immediate family members.
When you set boundaries, you keep your life on guard and keep the enemy away.
Be Sensitive And Sensible
You should be able to make sound judgments about people and their intentions.
And, of course, making good judgment begins with your spiritual sensitivity.
Therefore, be watchful and receptive to spiritual signals.
Remember Sampson in Judges Chapter 16.
Though he had the Spirit of God to do mighty things, he couldn’t discern that Delilah was a danger to his destiny, even after many attempts on his life; remember how he ended.
You will not end your journey in disgrace. Amen.
When you’re uncomfortable with any relationship or a particular person, you should watch it, take steps, and run for your life.
You should be sensitive and know if a relationship is informative, uplifting, or otherwise.
How is the character of the person you are in a relationship with?
What is other people’s testimony concerning them?
Therefore, be sensitive and sensible and be open to correction.
Areas To Set Boundaries
And I’m talking about issues I have taken personally.
Set Spiritual Boundaries
There must be something exclusive to God that you shouldn’t let anyone tamper with.
Don’t let any relationship take you away from God, take you away from your faith, or damage your quest for God.
Set Emotional Boundaries
In your relationship, be careful not to be emotionally attached to anyone except your God-ordained spouse.
Some individuals are emotionally attached to others, damaging their destiny; you will not feed emotional boundaries.
This is very, very critical.
For instance, if you keep holding hands physically with someone of the opposite sex, remember you are not just having the hands of that individual; you are also holding their hearts. So be cautious not to keep breaking the hearts of people.
Personal Boundaries
For instance, you work in an office or an organization, male or female. Of course, you have to travel officially to a particular destination.
They have booked your hotel for you. Yes, that’s fine.
When you get to your hotel, what are you doing in the hotel room having the opposite sex in your exclusive moment?
Why are you doing that? You must set personal boundaries.
Personally, there are boundaries I have set that people have known me for those who shelter in my house.
This helps me live a life of integrity. It would be best if you had boundaries and also set expectations.
These are also very important.
Sexual Boundaries
Don’t be sexually involved with the opposite sex except for your spouse. The marriage bed must be undefiled and give no place to the devil.
And Finally, Your Words And Your Promises
Ultimately, avoid what is not edifying. Don’t say words you don’t mean or make promises you cannot keep.
In Conclusion,
Setting heavy boundaries takes work; I must tell you this. You need to keep working on it and don’t ever compromise.
Don’t set yourself ablaze. Listen carefully. Again, don’t set yourself ablaze to keep others warm.
Love your neighbor as yourself. That’s what the Bible says.
You must reach a point where you will have a covenant with God to never involve yourself in unhealthy relationships.
This is very critical. Boundaries are all about respect. Respect for God, Respect for others, and respect for yourself.
Setting boundaries is part of self-care. They are heavy, ordinary, and necessary.
And remember, what you allow is what will continue.
Dear listener, wherever you may be today, you must check on the individuals in your life who are of the opposite sex and see what necessary steps and corrections you need to make.
As you do so, I see you attaining your God-ordained destiny in Jesus’ name, whether you are single or a man, in case you have fallen prey in any area of your life right now in dealing with the opposite sex.
I pray for the Grace of God to grant you forgiveness.
And I pray for your complete restoration in the name of Jesus Christ and Grace, never to return to those wounds anymore.
As I close, you are born again. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior?
Always remember, God is still faithful. See you next time.
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