Do you want to discover the red flags in Christian relationships?
As I share some advice with you, pay attention and stay attentive.
Dating won’t necessarily be simple and stress-free because you’re a believer.
I had to learn this lesson hard; therefore, I want to try to steer you clear of them.
Christian women are fully aware of the prejudices and challenges that lie ahead of us in the dating scene.
Suppose your dating relationship demonstrates any of these top red flags; consider leaving immediately to spare yourself future heartache.
If The Person Is Not Born Again
2 Corinthian 6:14 told us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
Church membership, service unit activities, and the movement of a person in the church do not mean the person is born again.
Salvation is a personal experience with God.
For any relationship to survive, the common foundation must be Jesus Christ.
If the man is not genuinely born again, you, too, are in danger.
Do things of internal value matter to him? Your stand for God is the foundation for building a Godly relationship and success in life.
Salvation with evidence and fruits to show is what you need, and make sure the person has it.
Dear ladies, watch if he can pray, do not go into a relationship with Goliath. Do not dig your own grave.
Constant Disagreement/Argument
Amos 3:3, Can two walk together except they agreed.
Relationship agreement has the potential for happiness, joy, and celebrations.
It provides a platform for a confident and strong relationship built on trust. Lack of agreement leads to frustration.
For instance, an agreement should be there spiritually, faith, repentance, and baptism.
Do you agree with these essential aspects? Has he truly repented? Does he believe in Christian character? Does he attend fellowship regularly? Is he a giver?
Are you attracted to him Physically? It’s also essential. Are you attracted to each other? What do you think of him? And his lifestyle? How about his appearance, his stature?
All these are crucial so that it will not be after marriage; you start thinking, ” Oh, this man is too tall for me.
I had wanted someone shorter. Take note of all these areas. And, of course, mentally, can you deal with the man?
Or his level of reasoning, sense of judgment, educational background, views on important life issues, and topics and beliefs about his financial values.
Suppose he’s somebody or someone who is covetous. Beloved, don’t marry someone who is materialistic so that you will not end up worshiping things for the rest of your life.
Remember, Lot’s wife ended up as a pillar of salt. That will not be your experience in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Making Frequent Excuses For His Negative Behavior
Making excuses for a shortcoming once in a while can be accommodated.
But when it becomes too often, then you should check it.
That’s a habit; you don’t always have to explain why he is in a bad mood, for example, rude, not involved in church activities, or hostile or violent.
If you’re always too careful around him, then it’s a red flag.
Indeed, when something feels wrong in the relationship, that relationship is inappropriate.
Understand, beloved, most bad behaviors won’t change because of marriage. Change comes with a choice.
Lack Of Respect For Boundaries
Setting boundaries before you begin a relationship and adhering to them is vital.
Boundaries talks about do’s and don’ts. Where to go, where not to go.
Where you should be and place should not be.
And indeed, a man who will not honor your boundaries won’t keep you.
Quality boundaries bring about respect, lack of limits is a lack of respect.
It’s better to be single and beloved than in the wrong relationship.
Any relationship you are in should draw you closer to God, not farther away from him.
Don’t compromise to keep anyone. God should be more important to you than anything else.
Don’t be deceived, especially ladies, to think or say; well, I am of age; I cannot afford to wait any longer.
It’s better to wait than to waste your destiny.
Family And Friends Disapprove.
Beloved, God puts us in a relationship with other people for fellowship.
He also puts us in a relationship so the old can offer wisdom to the young.
Titus 2:2-4, paraphrases save the aged men and women from teaching the young.
There is great value in engaging, productive, truthful, and godly feedback from those you are close to who know you better regarding any new relationship.
This is crucial. If, for example, there is a common consensus on this person, whether negative or positive, among family and friends, then you should listen.
Don’t turn deaf; as your future is colorful, you will not lose it.
In some cases, they see what you don’t see and what you ignore.
In this part of the world, a proverb says, which is very important, what an adult sees sitting down, a child cannot see standing up.
So listen to corrections, advice, and to concepts from family members. Take caution, and you have a great future.
Lying
One of the hardest things to overcome is a lie. It is part of the top red flag.
When you are dating a man, and his words mean nothing to him in the relationship, kindly quit the relationship.
On your wedding day, his vows at the altar will mean nothing to him, and they will be mere words.
Because lies are testimony, his words meant nothing to him.
So when you find a liar, especially one who makes it a habit, withdraw, and talk to God.
It’s a false insurance system that some men who don’t want to be accountable have built.
And men who don’t want to walk in integrity create a false insurance system to exonerate themselves from the demands of walking in truth and accountability.
Those are the kinds of people who can quickly go and do anything they want.
They already have tools for lying. So they don’t care about the implication of things.
Don’t go forward until God tells you to move forward with it, but in most cases, God will not.
Does the Bible not say the heart of man is desperately wicked? Who can know it?
You will need a spirit that can travel into the heart and rip through the balls or marrow to discern the intents and thoughts that tell you to go forward.
Inconsistent Lifestyle.
You will meet this man and ask him to define his vision for life. He will show you that he has written it down on paper.
Everything is top-notch!
He tells you that God gives him the vision to take over America.
And because of this vision, there are things he is doing.
Ask him about the vision after a month and what he has done; he will not be able to present anything; instead, he will come up with different excuses.
He may tell you the plan has changed, and he’s on another project.
He will come another day and say the plane has changed again. Another time you see him taking up a different lifestyle, like staying on his phone doing nothing, listening to secular music, etc.
At another time, you will find him speaking in tongues, and then you will be like, who exactly is this man?” Dear sister, such men has bipolar disorder.
Stay away from him if that is the case; he will only slow you down.
A man with a fake lifestyle is also in the same category; someone who tells you he’s worth a billion dollars; says he has properties and companies worldwide.
But while you are with him, you have not seen him working or receiving a call about work or business; this is a big fat lie. Run, sister, for your life.
Violent Tendencies
A man with a violent tendency can pose a significant threat to a relationship, both physically and emotionally.
Such behavior is unacceptable and can have long-term effects on you as a lady in your mental and physical well-being.
It can take many forms, including hitting, slapping, pushing, or throwing objects at you.
It can result in severe injuries and even death, and it is never acceptable under any circumstances.
A violent man can also be emotionally abusive toward you by belittling, manipulating, or controlling you.
Emotional and physical abuse will make you feel trapped and powerless.
The Bible teaches that love should be patient, kind, and not easily angered (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
That man must seek help and address the root cause of his behavior.
It must involve seeking counseling or therapy, followed by intensive prayer and fasting, as well as taking responsibility for his actions and committing to change.
Ultimately, suppose you are in a relationship with a violent man. In that case, this is a big red flag that requires careful attention and action to ensure your safety and well-being.
Pride
Pride is evil; remember, God, kicked the devil out of heaven because of pride.
A man may have all the good and godly qualities that he desires, but if he has pride, it is a huge red flag.
The Bible says the gift of God is without repentance; check very well, the gift God has given him to succeed in life and military service if he’s always providing accolades to himself, boasting that he did it alone; then this is pride.
The Bible says that by strength, no man shall prevail, see what happened to King Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4:29–37.
God took the throne from him to feed on grass because of his pride, but he returned to his senses and acknowledged God for all he had given him, and then God restored everything to him.
Is that the same case with your man right now, telling people in the church that he can pray and fast for 100 hours and a miracle will happen?
Does he confidently boast that he’s the most intelligent person in his family, talking down to every other household member?
He will always prioritize his needs and desires, which means your feelings and opinions are not welcome in some cases; you cannot advise him or table a suggestion.
He does not take Godly counsel, even from his parents, pastors, or mentors.
Additionally, his pride may prevent him from admitting fault or taking responsibility for his actions, making resolving conflicts and maintaining a healthy relationship difficult.
He Does Not Value Your Calling
You cannot go far and serve God better with a man who does not value and respect what God has called you to do.
If at any time you discuss with him that this is what God has called you to be, If he’s not contributing and ensuring that thing becomes a reality within three months, then such a person is not for you.
Don’t get me wrong; I do not mean he will abandon his calling and do yours.
No, he must first be your coach to guide you in that field of your calling and see that you have all the necessary resources to start.
Your calling is something other than a thing you will do for five years and then stop doing.
You will do it for life, so if he supports it, how do you intend to live together as a man and wife when you get married?
It will be difficult and tedious; many couples divorce because the wife or husband has a particular profession and the other person cannot handle it.
It’s essential to remember that your calling is between you and God, and it’s not something that anyone else can take away or diminish.
Remember, salvation is personal, so your calling is intimate with God.
We will all give an account of our lives lived here on earth on the Day of Judgment, and it will be based on your calling and how you have used it to advance the kingdom of God.
In the end, if he does not support your calling, you must follow God’s plan for your life, even if it requires making painful choices and abandoning that relationship.
In Conclusion
The key to avoiding these red flags in Christian relationships is honesty, openness, and willingness to assess the warning signals.
Only give your attention to a man who will love you and who is willing to help you do better in life and fulfill your destiny.
Don’t hesitate to let go of any relationship that pulls you away from God, your purpose, and yourself.
Under the sound of my voice, some of you are in relationships you know are not right.
As you receive this word right now, receive courage, receive grace to let go where necessary.
Your blessing is at the door. You shall notice it in Jesus’ name.
Finally, you must be born again and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. And always remember, God is too faithful to fail.
I love you. See you next time. Bye.
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