Even though the words “dating” and “courtship” are not mentioned in the Bible, some biblical principles have been outlined for us as believers to follow in our lives before marriage.
This is why we must know what the bible says about courtship and dating.
What Is Dating?
Dating is when two people are in an intimate affair; it can be sexual or not, but in most cases, it is always sexual.
Most dating people never get married; even if they do, the couple has already laid an ungodly foundation for themselves and their children.
Remember, the Bible says no foundation must be laid other than that which has already been laid, which is Jesus Christ. This is where a faulty foundation starts.
Dating generally breeds evil through unwanted pregnancies, suicide, due to heartbreak, being a single mother or father, and so many other things.
As a believer, never go into dating; you must have a sense of purpose and direction.
Our God is a God of ambition; your relationship with him is more accurate than being with a random man.
When choosing a life partner, you cannot make that decision by yourself even though you can do it.
Courtship is biblical, while dating is not. Dating is from the kingdom of this world, formed by the so-called “generation of new things,” not what our Lord Jesus Christ taught us.
So as believers, please never engage in dating; instead, wait on God for your God-ordained man and start with courtship.
What Is Courtship?
Courtship is an established relationship between two people of the opposite sex who intend to marry. It usually leads to engagement and marriage.
It should be a period where both parties accept responsibility to determine if they agree on the same beliefs, Christian faith, backgrounds, values, and others.
Both parties must prove all things about their intended spouse to be.
When you are in courtship, families from both sides are involved because you get to introduce yourself and you tell them your intentions to get married.
Courtship Rules For Single
A good marriage begins with a good courtship in which the intentions of marriage are made clear to both parties involved, the opposite sex.
Courtship is not uncommon in the Bible, and both parties are armed with information from their parents, families, and churches.
In Luke 1:27, the account tells us that Mary was engaged to Joseph before the birth of Jesus. Also, in Genesis 29:18–30, Jacob was engaged to Rachael for 14 years.
During courtship, the intended couple gets to know each other and makes plans for the type of marriage they want.
Courtship is a period of great importance and part of every successful marriage. It is part of the foundation-laying period of marriage.
It prepares one for the long life experience that marriage is intended to be.
Sometimes, most misunderstandings between couples in marriage now could have been avoided during courtship.
Marriage failure, in some cases, is a result of courtship failure.
Your Marriage shall not fail in Jesus’s Name. Amen.
The courtship period should not only be for eating, visiting places, taking pictures, etc.
It would be best if you focused on knowing your intended spouse adequately so that you could make a well-informed decision to enhance your glorious future.
The quality of your marital future depends on the investment of time you put into it while in courtship.
What Should Be The Lent Of Courtship?
There are no hard and fast rules regarding the length of courtship.
We have great men of God who are ahead of us in faith and have good marriages.
An example is Lester Sumrall and his wife, who courted for fourteen months, and now have a great home.
Billy Graham and his wife were engaged for three years, like many others.
Since marriage is a long-term adventure, it’s wise to know each other well enough before committing yourself to marriage.
We have people who courted for a shorter period and still have a great marriage to date, so it is not about how long you courted; instead, it is about how well you use the time.
However, you can consider nine months of courtship before marriage. Why did I say this?
The gestation period for humans is nine months.
Also, the angel spoke to Sarah before Isaac was born and told her that she would be visited according to the time of life when she would give birth, which was nine months.
In conclusion, it is still your decision that will, in the end, matter to you.
We can break the word “courtship” into two words: “court” and “ship.” It is like a ship in the dock awaiting a decision to seal.
If your ship of friendship, courtship, partnership, companionship, and relationship is not headed anywhere or toward your desired goal, the wisdom of God demands you end the relationship as soon as possible.
A courtship must be a time to learn, unlearn, adjust, and decide whether the relationship will end in a good marriage.
Are you in Courtship right now? Please be honest and genuine, keep your mind open, and be guided by the Holy Spirit.
A courtship can end if either party discovers the relationship is unproductive. A broken affair is better than a broken marriage.
When You Are In Courtship, Take Note Of These Rules
BE FOCUS
Your relationship with God helps you discover his will for your life, including your marriage.
In other words, let your courtship focus on enhancing your relationship with God, do not replace it with your intended spouse.
Be with someone that will make you want to seek God every day, not with someone that will make you forget about God in your journey through the courtship.
Dear single ladies, be careful; look out for a man who demonstrates his faith and love in God, shows you respect, and makes you feel safe.
Learn to build solid spiritual intimacy because any foundation not set on any biblical principle will not last.
The right relationship will not take you away from God; instead, it will bring you closer to him.
Pray together, share and study the word of God, listen to messages, serve God in the church, go out on evangelism together, and win souls for God together.
Share your testimonies with people together.
Being with someone who is committed to the things of God will make a difference in how the person will be committed to you, your future, and your marriage.
A man or woman who is not committed to God can never be dedicated to you.
It is essential to ensure that you are in courtship with someone who recognizes your gift, calling, and assignment and is ready to work with you to bring out the best.
God’s gifts are part of your courtship journey to keep you engaged through your lifetime.
UNDERSTANDING
Psalms 119vs 144b says give me understanding, and I shall live.
Whatsoever that needs outstanding results requires understanding; get to understand each other.
The key to understanding each other is good communication, so spend quality time together to know the best and the worst in each other.
Ask questions about each other’s faith, convictions, belief, and values, and influence each other positively towards growth and success.
Spend time together looking in the same direction and purpose.
Understand each other’s likes and dislikes, differences, and preferences. If communication is difficult before marriage, it is not likely to improve after marriage, so work on it now.
Be clear about each other’s characters, and build friendship and honesty.
Honesty during courtship is like breathing; it is crucial. Study how the spouse reacts to specific challenges and moods, and do not pretend.
Please do not go around and be in courtship with more than one person; it is Ungodly, so disembark from that journey.
At the right time, visit each other’s parents and have a strong relationship with them.
Equip yourself with adequate materials for courtship and marriage by reading the bible and books about Godly Marriage. Attend seminars and workshops on marriage together.
Be willing and teachable, and seek Godly counsel only.
Free interaction with Godly married couples and take note of their marital Christian lifestyle and family life.
You can do that by observing the lifestyle of your pastor, his wife, and other great pastors and teachers of the gospel around you.
COMPROMISE
When you are in courtship, do not compromise your Christian standards. Do not get involved with an unbeliever as the bible has instructed us in 2corinthians 6:14.
If you are in a courtship with an unbeliever right now, it is time to end the relationship and seek the face of God, or it may destroy your future and destiny.
Do not cause your intended spouse to come across inappropriate dress and lifestyle. Singles ladies, please do not “dress to kill”. Do not dress in a manner that will make your intended spouse emotionally down.
Prevent temptations by spending time together in public places, with families, and seat in public places to discuss.
Invite someone to be part of your courtship activities; this will make room for accountability and the unlikely occurrence of anything sexual.
Limit your touching and avoid petting; it arouses passions that lead to sexual sin.
Communicate with someone with more experience, your pastor, parents, or mentor.
Guild each other’s purity and reaffirm from physical intimacy; remember you are still in a hardened vessel.
Sex is beautiful but only in the confide of faithful and honorable marriage.
Infidelity and unfaithfulness in courtship will lead to unhappy marriages.
If in any way you have fallen into sexual sin in courtship, kindly make a turn and seek the face of God, do the right thing, and give no room again to the devil.
Your future is very colored with God on your side.
In conclusion, courtship is a commitment. It is a promise not to play games with another person’s heart.
Allow a reasonable length of time in courtship. Take your time. If you lack peace during courtship, then it is a sign that you should reconsider.
If you hear from God and he says maybe it will not work, kindly listen and redirect yourself.
May God preserve your courtship to fulfillment in Jesus Name
I desire a breakthrough for every single reading this post for blissful romance and marriage.
God will position the best person on your path to your journey through life, especially as you wait for him to choose for you. Amen.
God will be there to help. Amen.
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